Are Your Children’s Dreams Tethered to Yours?
“How many hopes and fears, how many ardent wishes and anxious apprehensions are twisted together in the threads that connect the parent with the child!” — Samuel Griswold Goodrich
An accurate view on parenting, don’t you think?
Every parent’s wish is for their children’s success. This is why you spend time, energy and effort teaching them the ways of life, starting from buttoning shirts to solving daily problems.
You provide them with education and extracurricular activities such as dancing, swimming, martial arts, painting and the like, to make them well-rounded.
Lastly, you keep them on the right path, pushing them to become better so they succeed.
But what if I told you that it’s possible for parents to lead kids to a path for the wrong reasons? Could you be committing this mistake without knowing it?
To answer these questions, reflect on this for a minute or two:
“Are you pushing your children towards a certain direction because you truly believe it’s right for them, or is it because you are living your unfulfilled dreams through them?”
I’ve seen it many times. Parents live out their failed hopes and dreams through their children. Choosing the “right” college, course, and even spouse for their kids based on what they (parents) should have done. Based on what they missed in the past. Based on their regrets.
It’s for this reason that even before I became a parent, I knew not to live my dreams through my children.
Yes, I may push my child to excel academically and in sports, but it’s because I believe these will benefit him in the future. I don’t have any grandiose illusions of him becoming a best-selling novelist because it’s my frustration.
When children are controlled, they end up with a life they never wanted, which leads to one that is dull and passionless.
And a passionless person is robbed of life.
Would you want that for your children? Or would you want them to blossom and flourish because they are at peace with their chosen path?
Another job you have as a parent, is to sift your own deeply rooted personal desires from what is really best for your children. The only way for you to do that is to be honest with yourself and your goals.
So answer this: Are your children’s dreams tethered to yours?
Anne Mercado is a writer and an editor. She authors Green Eggs & Moms which offers clever parenting articles to keep moms with young kids sane. When she’s not hunched over the computer working, you can find her either counting to ten to get her kiddo to move faster, or reading a horror book. She also loves vampires and zombies.
September 27, 2012 by guest