A NEW LIFE BEGINS

By Katrina Goulbourn Feist

“And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.

And he said:

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees his mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.”

- excerpt from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

My godmother gave me this book as a teenager and I have loved it’s prose and wisdom since then, though at the time I admit I could not wholly understand what was said. But as life teaches both beautiful and painful lessons over the years, I believe I can now truly grasp more of what Gibran shares.

My journey towards a successful pregnancy has been a long and emotional one, with disappointments along the way (two miscarriages) and a series of experimentation in getting there (from acupuncture to insemination). That however, although it carries great significance in how I got to this glorious point of being 38 weeks pregnant, is another story.

This pregnancy was “conceived” with a visit to Singapore after my husband and I did much research and finally came to a decision to try IVF with a highly renowned and recommended fertility doctor there. After a very educational initial trip there, confidence in the doctor we had chosen and my coming to terms with using hormones to hopefully achieve the pregnancy we wanted, we came back home to start the process with his experienced colleague/doctor in Manila.

I was naturally intimidated with the self-injections that I had to do, but I learned the power of the mind amazes one in overcoming fears when there is a wonderful purpose. I was incredibly fortunate to sail pretty smoothly along with the hormones, all the way through the whole process back in Singapore and we got very lucky in getting pregnant after our first try.

My first trimester was considered delicate as I had to continue with hormone treatment once back home, take it easy which was not too hard to do since I was quite tired and nauseous through out most of that period. The super sense of smell did not help.

In my second trimester, I returned to the wonderful care of my regular doctor as it was considered a normal pregnancy at that time and I could finally be more active as I had good energy so I started to swim regularly and joined a great prenatal yoga class which I plan on continuing until I can no longer waddle my way through it all.

The third trimester has thankfully also been relatively easy and not too uncomfortable, other than my feet and hands swelling, and the occasional leg cramp. Our baby girl is growing well and steadily, making herself known constantly with her belly dance movements, for which I am infinitely grateful.

With the years of trying behind me, I can reflect more openly on what I have gone though to get pregnant with our little darling. Gibran’s words ring true. Perhaps I had to learn patience, that we do not choose when we are ready for children but they choose, to just “let go” of trying so hard, or maybe I needed all that time to get ready to be the best mother I can be, to value the beautiful years my husband and I have had together just us two before we embark on this next chapter, this new life of parenthood together. I have no regrets and that time waiting for the day to finally come to start a family has made me cherish each moment I have had until she arrives. I think I even learned a thing or two about myself along the way…

 

THE MOST FUN PART ABOUT BEING PREGNANT

…has been sharing each step of our baby’s growth along the way with a very excited husband, overly excited mother and mother in law, fathers, family and some dearest friends who are experienced mothers themselves or new mothers that have been a terrific support and source of inspiration.

 

THE MOST EMOTIONAL PART ABOUT BEING PREGNANT

…has been a little something with every little step forward, from finding out that we were actually pregnant, to hearing our baby’s first heartbeat, to finding out we were having a girl, to feeling her first little kick, to watching her (and my belly) grow as the weeks have flown by. And last but not least, having the incredible love and support of my husband who has held my hand through out it all, and of course, sharing this with my mother, as well as closest family and dearest friends through out this journey toward motherhood.

 

*PHOTO TAKEN BY: Denise Weldon *